Family&Adult

Consistory Office of Family and Adult Ministry   Some things on this page:  Confession, preparation for Confession, further preparation for Confession, how to pray, family prayers.      The Holy Mystery of Confession It is good to partake of Confession regularly, but one ought take confession especially: when a serious sin has been committed; when a habitual sin has overwhelmed a Christian, or when a Christian has stopped growing spiritually and needs a reexamination of priorities. have missed Church for more than three weeks without a good reason. Preparation for Confession:  An examination of conscience: The Ten Commandments I am the Lord your God, and you shall have no other gods before me. Has God been the source, center and hope of my life? Have I put myself, others or things before God? Have I failed to trust in God’s existence, love and mercy? Have I failed to pray to God, to worship Him and to thank Him for His blessings? Have I tried to serve God and keep His commandments faithfully? Have I murmured or complained against God in adversity? Have I praised and glorified God through my words and deeds? You shall not make for yourself a graven image in order to worship it. Have I valued anyone or anything above God? Have I given to anyone or anything the love, honor and worship that belongs to God alone? Have I made and idol of any person, idea, occupation, or thing? You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain. Have I blasphemed God’s holy name in any way? Have I sworn a false oath? Have I broken any solemn vow or promise? Have I entered into an agreement, promise or contract against God’s law? Have I cursed or used foul language? Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. Have I worshiped regularly on Sundays and major feast days and have I helped others to do the same? Have I worked unnecessarily on Sundays or major feast days or caused others to do so? Have I spent the Lord’s Day in a wholesome and edifying ways? Honor your father and mother Have I loved and respected my parent s as I should? Have I neglected them or failed to help them? Have I disobeyed them, deceived them or caused them pain by my words or deeds? Have I treated all my family members with patience and love? Thou shall not kill. Have I caused the harm, injury or death of anyone? Have I wished my own or anyone’s harm or death? Have I been cruel to animals or destroyed any life unnecessarily? You shall not commit adultery. Have I committed any immoral acts alone or with others? Have I caused others to commit immoral acts? Have I committed immoral acts in my heart? You shall not steal. Have I taken anything that was not mine from anyone or from anywhere? Have I cheated anyone? Have I caused others to steal or cheat? Have I tried to find the owners of lost things I have found? Have I damaged or destroyed anything that belonged to another? Have I defrauded anyone of rightful wages? Have I paid my debts? Have I given to the poor and to philanthropic causes in proportion to my means? You shall not bear false witness. Have I given false testimony against anyone? Have I spoken evil, told lies or  spread rumors about anyone? Have I disclosed to anyone the sins and faults of another? Have I made careless statements or done anything else to harm the name and reputation of another? Have I engaged in idle gossip? You shall not covet. Have I looked with envy jealousy or hatred toward the possession talents or achievements of others? Have I desired the downfall or loss of others out of evil intent that I might benefit? Have I grieved that God has bestowed greater blessings on others than on me? The Beatitudes Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Have I truly recognized my complete dependence on God? Have I been proud arrogant and self-righteous in my ways? Have I been selfish, possessive and self-seeking? Have I sought after status power and wealth? Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Have I endured difficulties and afflictions with faith and patience? Have I felt sadness for the sufferings of the poor, the hungry, and addicted; the sick, the lonely and the sinful of the world? Have I truly been sorrowful for my sins and faults? Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Have I tried to serve or rather to dominate others at home, school, work, office, Church and elsewhere? Have I nursed against anyone? Have I been resentful, bitter, unforgiving or insulting and abusive to others? Have I loved my enemies? Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Have I truly yearned for God’s will to be done in all things? Have I worked for justice in my family, society and the world in ways with in my reach? Have I tried to cultivate a righteous life through prayer, fasting, worship, receiving Holy Communion and deeds of love toward others? Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy. Have I shown compassion and help toward the poor, hungry, lonely and needy around me? Have I tried to understand and forgive others? Have I been indifferent judgmental or legalistic? Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Have I loved goodness, purity and holiness? Have I succumbed to evil motives and intentions? Have I given way to impure thoughts, words or deeds? Have I been guilty of bias and prejudice? Have I been hypocritical, pretentious or self-indulgent to sinful passions? Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. Do I have God’s peace in my heart? Have I been unfairly angry, aggressive or impatient? Have I worked for peace at home, work, Church and in society? Have I been irritable, polemical, or divisive? Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Have I complained when persecuted for God’s sake? Have I prayed for my persecutors? Have I failed to defend anyone in the truth for fear of humiliation or persecution? Have I had the courage to stand up for what is right despite criticism, ridicule or persecution? Blessed are you when they revile you and persecute you on my account; rejoice and be clad, for your reward is great in heaven Is the joy of Christ in my heart even in trying moments? Have I been pessimistic despondent or despairing? Have I truly delighted in the promise of God’s treasures in heaven? (from http://www.goarch.org/en/ourfaith/articles/article8476.asp)   Further Preparation for Confession  First Torment: Idle speech Have you spoken without thinking? or spoken too much? or spoken anything that is impure? or shameless? or without need or order? or unreasonable? or unclean? Have you thought or said angry words or foul words? Have you participated with or sung worldly shameless songs in word or thought? Have you laughed unnecessarily or excessively? or laughed about things that you shouldn't have laughed about or found funny? Have you acted too silly? Second Torment: Lying Have you kept the vows of your baptism? Have you failed to keep oaths or promises to God? Have pronounced the name of God without reverence? Have you falsely confessed your sins? or was insincere about, belittled, justified, or kept silent about your sins during confession? Have you lied? Have you been sly or secretly mischievous? or have you been deceptive or hypocritical? Have you honestly obeyed traffic laws? Have been argumentative or stubborn? Third Torment: Spoke evil of others Have you spread rumors or gossiped in thought or in word? Have you slandered anyone wanting to or intending to injure the reputation of another? Have you given bad ideas or words to people? Have you laughed at other's deficiencies or misfortunes? Have you maligned treated anyone with malice or shown hatred toward or abused or wronged or injured anyone? Have you condemned anyone? or declared others unfit? Have you made fun of people in thought, word, or action? or mocked in a harmful way? Have you reproached anyone or reflected on anyone abusively? Have you taunted, teased, or tempted anyone? Have you insulted anyone? Fourth Torment: Gluttony Have you eaten before I put on the sign of the cross? Have you eaten when you were not hungry? Have you eaten too much at one time or became too full during the fasts? Have you eaten without having thankfulness to God? Have you eaten like a slob or out of control stuffing food in your mouth? Have you consumed too many alcoholic beverages to the point of being drunk? Have you respected the feasts and fasts as much as I should? Have you broken the fasts? Have you not looked forward to the fasts taking in mind the true meaning and purpose of them? Have you eaten too many sweet foods for the enjoyment of them or had a love of sweets? Have you had gluttonous fantasies? Fifth Torment: Sloth Have you taken efforts to remember and extensively learn the Commandments of God and the precepts of the Holy Fathers by reading spiritual things? Have you kept your physical and spiritual passions in check all the time? Or had a general carelessness about doing things having to do with the salvation of your soul? Have you devoted yourself to the comforts of life? Have you lacked endurance towards my illnesses and sorrows by not struggling against your passions as much as you should? Have you been idle? or not worked as hard as you could have? or fallen asleep at work? or not wanted to get out of bed? Have you complained about having to work or attend long services or say long prayers? Have you cared to praise and thank God as much as I could or should have throughout the day? Have you failed to keep in continual prayer trying always to keep your mind on serving God? Have you dwelled upon your previous sins? Have you fallen into despondency? Or given up hope or not having faith in God that He can and will change you? Have you forgotten to pray at certain times during the day? Have you rushed through or not said your morning and evening prayers whole-heartedly? Have you attended the services completely? Have you been fully prepared to go to Church to worship? or have you gone to Church only half-heartedly, lazily, and carelessly? Have you conversed during the services about things not having to do with the service? Have you paid complete attention during the services? Have you let your mind wander or daydream or think other ungodly thoughts during prayer or services? Have you left the Church before the dismissal and blessing? Have you forced yourself to do good at all times? Have you had a weak will? Sixth Torment: Stealing Have you stolen anything or thought seriously about stealing something? Seventh Torment: Avarice and love of money Have you loved riches? Have you been content with what God gave you? Have you wished in your mind that you had more money than you do already? Have you acquired unnecessary things? or had and immoderate attachment to material things? Have you been too concerned or caught up with material things? Have you been too concerned with things having to do with the flesh? Have you bought things in exchange for proper tithing? Have you been greedy or selfish? Have you worried about money or financial circumstances instead of putting your trust in God? Have you had fantasies about material wealth or having riches? Eighth Torment: Usury Have you gained riches by exploiting people? Have you accepted bribes? Have you acquired something that belonged to another? Ninth Torment: Injustice Have you judged anyone? Have you acquitted the guilty and condemned the innocent all for the sake of gain Have you been unjust in anyway? Have you accused an innocent person of committing an act that they did not do? Tenth Torment: Envy Have you envied anyone? or been jealous? Eleventh Torment: Pride Have you been prideful? Have you thought myself better than anybody else? Have you considered yourself worthy while considering others unworthy? Have you had a high opinion of yourself in any way? Have you talked down to anyone? Have you compared or measured yourself up to anyone? Have you looked out for other people's faults rather than your own? Have you tried to conceal the shortcomings of others while trying to conceal your virtues? Have you been critical of other people or criticized anyone? Have you been arrogant, vain, or conceited? Have you relied completely on yourself rather than God? Have you bragged or boasted of things that you have accomplished? Have you loved praise and honors? Have you put on airs? Have you been prideful of the good deeds that you have done? Have you failed to give proper honor or obey your parents or superiors appointed by God? Have you been disobedient? Have you thought yourself self-important? Have you been self-willed instead of trying always to do the will of God? Have you been self-righteous? Have you self-justified your sins? Have you disregarded the counseling of your conscience? Have you failed to confess any of your sins through negligence or false pride? Have you been impatient or anxious about anything in which you shouldn't be that way about? Have you been prejudice towards anyone for any reason? Have you had prideful fantasies of power, fame, or glory? Twelfth Torment: Anger and Ruthlessness Have you felt anger? Have you said anything unfeeling towards anyone? Have you harmed or hurt anyone's feelings in any way? Have you carried on arguments with anyone about anything in your head? Thirteenth Torment: Bearing grudges Have you nurtured evil thoughts against anyone? Have you returned evil for evil? Have you remembered wrongs anyone did to you in the past? Have you bore any grudges instead of understanding, loving, and forgiving? Have you kept in mind when anyone made offences towards you? Have you imagined ways you could have revenge on anyone? Fourteenth Torment: Murder Have you wounded anyone is some way? Have you had any violent or destructive thoughts? Have you had any harmful thoughts aimed towards anyone? Have you wished evil upon anyone? Have you been angry with people without a just cause? Fifteenth Torment: Magic, sorcery, poisoning, and incantations Have you thought about your past interest in magic and things relating to magic? Have you imaged Holy things having some sort of magical properties? Sixteenth Torment: Fornication Have you had any sensual or lustful thoughts? carnal thoughts? Have you daydreamed about amorous and lustful things and found them sweet? Have you made impure glances? Have you touched yourself in a lustful or passionate way that was pleasing or arousing? Have you had blasphemously lustful thoughts about saints and holy people? Have you been unchaste in thought, word, or deed? Have you waken up from lustful bad dreams and found them pleasing to think about? Have you had fantasies of lust or fornication? Seventeenth Torment: Adultery Have you had any adulterous thoughts with married people? Eighteenth Torment: Sodomic sins Have you sinned against your nature? Nineteenth Torment: Heresies Have you participated in Holy Communion having as much humility or the fear of God as you should? Have you loved and feared the Lord always? Have you turned away from the Orthodox confession of faith by apostatizing and agreeing with false doctrines or beliefs? Have you lacked faith? Have you doubted or had misconceptions about the faith? Have denied holy things or had a negative attitude towards them? Have you been grateful for all of God's great and unceasing gifts, His mercy, His long-suffering, and His providence? Have you fulfilled the Holy Commandments of God, the canons, and the rules of the Church? Have you blasphemed or swore in thought or word? Have you thought curse words when you pray? Have you turned words of prayer into profane words or filthy concepts? Have you feared man instead of God? Have you been too attached to parents, relatives, and friends? Have you answered the telephone during prayer? Twentieth Torment: Lack of compassion and cruelty of the heart Have you lacked mercy, forgiveness, compassion, and love for anyone? Have you felt hatred toward anyone? or any other manifestation of hatred? Have you been unfriendly to anyone? or been cruel? Have you ridiculed anyone? Have you rejoiced at the misfortunes of other's? Have you had abusive or violent thoughts? Have you been polite and friendly while driving on the roads and highways? I have sinned in deed, word, and thought, voluntarily and involuntarily, knowingly and unknowingly, in knowledge and in ignorance, willingly and unwillingly, thoughtfully and thoughtlessly, by day and by night, and it is impossible to enumerate all of my sins because of their multitude. But I truly repent of these and all others not mentioned by me because of my forgetfulness and I ask that they be forgiven through the abundance of the mercy of God. (from http://www.orthodox.net/confess/confession-20-torments.html)     Talked to God Lately? Don’t pray regularly?  Don’t even know where to start?  Print out the cutouts below and start there.  Print them on paper and laminate or simply print them out on thicker cardstock.  One is for the wallet/purse, one for the dinner table, and one is for the alarm clock/nightstand next to the bed.  This will help all who wish to live out their Orthodox Catholic Christian Faith on a daily basis, as it is a simple prayer rule for Orthodox Christians.    Please notice there are two sets, the first is the prayers in traditional English, the second is the prayers in modern English.  Even if you do not use the modern English, it is good to look over modern English translations of the same prayer because it can help many of us to better understand what the traditional language is saying.  Thus, when we return to the traditional English, it will have fresh and perhaps many-tiered meaning from the way we understood it before.     TRADITIONAL ENGLISH CUTOUTS: Put this one on your night stand near or on your alarm clock! PRAYER UPON WAKING: 6am (or upon rising):  From my bed and sleep Thou hast raised me O Lord, enlighten my mind and my heart, and open my lips, that I may ever praise Thee, O Holy Trinity:  Holy, Holy, Holy art Thou, O God, through the intercessions of the Theotokos, have mercy on us.    PRAYER BEFORE GOING TO SLEEP 12 midnight (or when retiring):  Into Thy hands, O Lord, I commend my spirit.  Verse:  Behold the Bridegroom comes in the middle of the night; and blessed is the servant whom he shall find watching.  Grant that I may behold Thy Kingdom all the days of my life.  Amen   This one cut out and put in your wallet or purse for your day.  If you are not able to pray at the appointed times, then pray them all at once when you do have time.  Remember our Faith is not about rigidity and legalism, but about growing closer to the Lord.  9am—the 3rd hour O Lord, who at the third hour didst send down Thy Most Holy Spirit upon Thine Apostles, take Him not from us, O good one, but renew Him in us who pray to Thee. 12noon—the 6th hour  O Lord, who at the sixth hour was crucified for our sake, and at this same hour didst suffer upon the cross that all men might be gathered unto Thee, help us and save us through Thy great love for us.  3pm—the 9th hour  O Lord, who at the ninth hour destroyed the power of death by Thy death, make us worthy to share in Thy victory and life   Finally, put this one on the dinner table--double print it on both sides and put it back to back, or maybe even make it 3 or 4 sided so all can read it at once.  Make a stand for it and put it up!   BEFORE SUPPER: In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen O Gladsome (Joyful) Light of the Holy Glory of the immortal Father, Heavenly Holy Blessed Jesus Christ, having come to the setting of the sun, and seen the light of evening, we praise God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, for at all times Thou art worthy of praise in song, as Son of God and Giver of Life, therefore all the world glorifies Thee.  They that hunger shall eat and be satisfied, they that seek after the Lord shall praise him, their hearts shall life forever.  Amen  Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages Amen.  Lord have mercy Lord have mercy Lord have mercy.  Christ God bless the food and drink of Thy servants, for Thou art holy always, now and ever and unto ages of ages  All:  Amen.  Note: in the midst of supper it is good for all to discuss what they are grateful for that day.  AFTER SUPPER:  We Thank You O Christ our God, that you have satisfied us with your earthly blessings, deprive us not of your heavenly kingdom, but as you came in the midst of your disciples O Savior and gave them peace, so come to us and save us.  Vouchsafe O Lord to keep us this night without sin.  Blessed art Thou O Lord the God of our fathers, and praised and glorified is Thy name forever, Amen.  Remember O Lord Thy servants (Names).  Grant them and all of us peace, prosperity, health and length of days, and answer our prayers that are effectual to life eternal.  Remember O Lord Thy departed servants (Names).  Grant them rest and life everlasting.  Thy will be done.  Amen.     MODERN ENGLISH CUTOUTS: Put this one on your night stand near or on your alarm clock! PRAYER UPON WAKING: 6am (or upon rising):  From my bed and sleep You have raised me O Lord, enlighten my mind and my heart, and open my lips, that I may ever praise Thee, Holy Trinity:  Holy, Holy, Holy are You, God, through the intercessions of the Birthgiver of God, have mercy on us.    PRAYER BEFORE GOING TO SLEEP 12 midnight (or when retiring):  Into Your hands, Lord, I commit my spirit.  Verse:  Behold the Bridegroom comes in the middle of the night; and happy is the servant whom he shall find watching.  Grant that I may behold Your Kingdom all the days of my life.  Amen   This one cut out and put in your wallet or purse for your day.  If you are not able to pray at the appointed times, then pray them all at once when you do have time.  Remember our Faith is not about rigidity and legalism, but about growing closer to the Lord.   9am—the 3rd hour Lord, who at the third hour sent down Your Most Holy Spirit upon Your Apostles, take Him not from us, good one, but renew Him in us who pray to You. 12noon—the 6th hour  Lord, who at the sixth hour was crucified for our sake, and at this same hour suffered upon the cross that all men might be gathered unto You, help us and save us through Your great love for us.  3pm—the 9th hour  Lord, who at the ninth hour destroyed the power of death by Your death, make us worthy to share in Your victory and life Finally, put this one on the dinner table--double print it on both sides and put it back to back, or maybe even make it 3 or 4 sided so all can read it at once.  Make a stand for it and put it up!   +Office of Family and Adult Ministries+ Ukrainian Orthodox Church of the United States of America Ecumenical Patriarchate of Constantinople One Holy Orthodox Catholic and Apostolic Church Rev. Fr. Harry Linsinbigler, Director